


Great minds think alike

by Zoya113



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate reality theory, F/M, M/M, this lowkey sucked tho, tried to explain all the weird continuity errors lmao, what about it, yes its just bc I was pissed about schaeffers absence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Xander Lee And General Macnamara find a way to access alternate realities.a.k.a, the Black Friday gang meet the tgwdlm gang
Relationships: Colonel Schaeffer & Melissa, Emma Perkins/ Paul Matthews, General Macnamara & Lex Foster, General Macnamara/ Xander Lee, General McNamara & Colonel Schaeffer, Lex Foster/ Ethan Green, Tom Houston/ Becky Barnes
Comments: 15
Kudos: 95





	Great minds think alike

It was almost a mirror image of his own headquarters. Sometimes there was a left instead of a right, or a door where there shouldn’t have been, but everything was looked the same. It was incredible. Maybe the dimension rift really had worked. 

People recognised him in the halls, or thought they did anyways. They thought he was their General Mcnamara. But he didn’t belong to this reality. They saluted and he returned it, excited to recount the portal’s success to his team back at his own HQ. He just had to do a simple lap around the facility, hoping he didn’t run into himself. Xander would be thrilled if had worked so stably. 

He passed by a soldier in the halls and she saluted before powering on. 

Things were going smoothly. That was until someone began to stare. 

The soldier he had passed had done a full one eighty, and she was staring at him now. She had the stars of a colonel on her lapel, Macnamara should’ve recognised her, especially someone so high up, but he didn’t. Was his facility made up of different members? 

“Is there a problem, colonel?” He turned to face her. 

“I didn’t recognise you with your hair down.” She was still scanning his face like she had to be sure it was actually him. 

He collected his hair in a hand and pinned it back behind his head. “Better, Colonel?” 

That seemed to make things click, and she nodded. “You left your office quickly,” she changed topics instead. “You were sitting down a second ago,” she shrugged, rolling her eyes at herself as if to condemn her inability to understand. “I’m just on my way off now, General. Everything has been signed off.” 

He hoped he wasn’t going to get her in trouble if this information had to go to her real General, but she had already marched off. 

Macnamera cringed as he turned back. Maybe he wasn’t as incognito as he thought. But the dimensional rift was a success, and he had a lot to report back.   
———————————————————

“It was perfect, Xander,” he clapped him over the back as he stepped through the rift, there was a slight shiver and tug at his skin when he moved through the barrier. Xander was almost too excited with the success of his research to even welcome Macnamara back. 

“What was it like?” He got straight to closing the rift, shuffling around on his laptop to get control of it. 

“Well unless there’s a new colonel I’ve never been told about, I set foot in another reality,” he confirmed, fluffing his hair back out. Really? Alternate reality him wore his hair in a ponytail? “Hey, can you close it?” He leant over Xander’s shoulder.

The rift was still open, pulling at the space around it, sucking small things in - sheets of paper, pens, eventually it took Xander’s mug right from his hand. 

“I’m trying it just-“ his laptop displayed an error. “There’s an interference on the other end. I can’t.” 

“Ah, mother of-“ he was about to step through himself to fix it up until a shape began to appear. 

“Is this yours?” The man standing there was holding Xander’s mug. Except that wasn’t why the physicist’s jaw had dropped. The man looked almost exactly like himself. 

He wasn’t wearing his utility vest and his hair was tied up in a pony tail, and if he looked hard enough the scar on his left hand was on the opposite side. Surprisingly, his eyes were tinged just a little deeper blue than usual. 

“Same hat,” Macnamara pointed out with a tense grin. 

“Can you step through so we can close the rift?” Xander panicked, clutching his sunglasses so they weren’t pulled through. 

The other General stepped through to their side and the gap closed seconds later. “What’s all this?” 

“Alternate reality technology,” Xander answered incredulously like that was the strangest thing about this situation. “I like the ponytail,” he added. 

“Alternate reality?” The other General glanced around like he was pulling apart the same ideas. “Well we certainly don’t have one of these,” he gestured to where the rift had just been before nodding his head to himself like he was taking notes. “General Mcnamara,” The introduction was pointless. 

“Xander Lee,” he introduced himself, his eyes wide to see a real life example of his study. “Welcome to our reality.”

———————————————————

“So the sergeant lost his foot, my hand is still roped to the fence, and then a cadet marches in and sets off the detonation, a shitstorm, but I get my hand free and-“ she paused when her pacer began to beep. 

“His foot came clean off?” Paul’s jaw gaped in horror. 

“Did he scream?” Emma chimed in, on the edge of her seat for the story. 

Melissa nudged the colonel, shuddering. “I hate this story, Schaeffer. Tell a different one.” 

“Hold on.” They weren’t really allowed phones at PEIP, so maybe a pager was a bit out of fashion, but the General wanted her to contact him it seemed. “There’s something going on at headquarters,” she announced to the table.” 

“Wait, you’re leaving already?” Emma frowned. “I wanted to know the rest of the story.” 

“Oh, I thought you were staying all afternoon!” Paul added, pushing away his plate like he couldn’t eat if their guest left. 

She stood up and Melissa stood up too as if she was coming along. “Sit down, you can tell Emma the story if you know it so well.” 

“Wait!” Melissa pouted. “You were supposed to stay today!” 

“Can I borrow a phone? I need to ring the General,” she asked, looking around to see if the restaurant had anywhere to make calls.

“Here,” Paul pulled his iPhone from his pocket, handing it over. 

“Ah. It’ll do,” she nodded, heading outside to make the call. “General? Is everything alright?” 

“Can you hear me alright, Schaeffer?” His voice was glitching and dropping out. 

“Uh,” she held a hand to her other ear. “That’s affirmative. What’s the situation?” She could see Emma and Paul and Melissa looking at her through the window so with a snicker she turned her back to them so she could focus. 

“Guess where I’m calling you from?” There was muffled laughter on his end from whoever he was with.

“A teenagers sleepover party?” She crossed her arms. “You told me I wasn’t working today. I’m already at lunch.” She was considering just hanging up. This sounded like a prank call. Unfortunately her moral compass was too strong to hang up on her General.

“You’re in Hatchetfield already? You didn’t tell me you were leaving!” Mcnamara exclaimed. “Well, maybe I should be calling someone at headquarters.” 

“What do you mean? We spoke in the hallway?” There was a moment of silence on the other end and she shifted her weight to her other leg. “You were wearing your hair down and it took me a second to recognise you. Remember?” 

“Ooooh.” His voice almost echoed, like there were two of him. “Uh. Colonel Schaeffer,” and now he was playing diplomat again, putting on a more serious tone. “I’m not ringing you from earth.” 

She shot a shocked look up at the sky. “Excuse me?”

“I’m in an alternate reality, Schaeffer. Apparently there’s more than one PEIP and they’ve got way cooler stuff than us,” There was a scuffle. “No, don’t listen to him. They have one extra lab than us and-“ 

She didn’t understand what was going on until a new voice came through the phone. “Who am I speaking to?” 

“Xander Lee, theoretical physicist, special branch of-“

“Yes I know,” she cut him off. “Is this a joke?” 

“So there are two General ‘namara’s. They’re spelt differently, but they’re pretty much the same person.” 

“Two Generals?” Her jaw dropped, she couldn’t move her legs. 

“Great, right?” Xander chuckled. “That’s gotta be the best thing to come from all these years of study.”

“Do I get my General back?” She held her other hand to her ear tighter, not risking losing any information.

“Well yes. That’s not gonna be a problem to get him back, the real problem now is that I think they’re friends.” 

She clutched a hand to her chest. “Huh?”

“They’re roughhousing and talking about getting coffee later. Not gonna lie, feeling a little rejected here,” he shrugged. “We’ll get your General back to you soon. Don’t worry about it. We’ll work it out.” He hung up. 

There was a lingering emptiness in the knowledge her General was not somewhere she could get to. He would always get carried away. She’d have to go pick him up or he’d never return from the void. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologised as she returned Paul’s phone. “Something’s come up.” 

“Oh, is everything okay?” Paul glanced between her and the phone for an answer. “You’re really leaving?” 

“Well my General has left this plain of reality, so yes, I think that’s quite a pressing issue I should attend to,” she confessed, second-hand embarrassed by the story. 

Melissa clung to her hand, not ready for her to leave. “You can’t just finish off your lunch?” 

She had lost her appetite. “Send the bill to me. I’ll cover it. Sorry about the abrupt end,” she patted Melissa’s shoulder to get her back down in her seat. “But I’ve got a General to go fetch.” 

“Can we come too?” Emma suggested, catching the other three by surprise. “What’s the harm, right?” 

Schaeffer pointed over her shoulder instead of any vocal answer. 

“So?” Emma pressed.

“Emma, hun, maybe we should-“

“It sounds like fun to me!” Melissa shot up from her seat so hard she knocked into the table and Paul had to grab it to stop it tilting. 

“Ah.” You know what? If Mcnamara was going to ruin her day off by making her babysit, then she was bringing her friends along with her. 

———————————————————

“What’re you gonna do, Colonel, send me to jail for having fun?” Mcnamara clapped his mirror image on the back. “It won’t hurt to spend an afternoon here, would it?” He turned to Xander for confirmation. 

“Not as far as I’m aware,” he shrugged, closing the rift much to the colonel’s clear dislike. 

“Come on, Schaeffer,” he beckoned her over. “It’s your day off, so why not spent it in another dimension! Is that not incredible?” He elbowed Xander heartily. 

“No, look. I’m just trying to have lunch, and now it’s time for you to come home. You’ll get carried away General. You always do.”

“We do,” both of the General’s exchanged a knowing look that made them laugh. 

Macnamara’s eyes grew wide, assuming it was the same as Mcnamara, he was getting an idea. “If you guys are gonna stay here-“

“I never said that.”

“Then how about we go to yours?” That was not a suggestion, but almost an order. Schaeffer wondered whether she still had to take orders from him. 

“Look,” Schaeffer tried to reason, batting Melissa’s hand away from the rift once she started playing with it. “I’d advise against that.” 

Macnamara collected a rubber band from Xander’s table, tying his hair back. 

Paul let out a gutted sound already, losing track of who was who. Aside from the Generals, Emma seemed to be the only one enjoying this shit show. 

“Bait and switch, General!” Emma cheered. 

“Xander, you know what to do,” Macnamara said, calling him over.

Xander didn’t actually look like he knew what to do. 

Macnamara made his way through the rift, and Paul jumped back as it jerked about, making a strange noise. 

Xander handed something to Mcnamara, saluted, and took off after his General. The rift closed shortly after.

“What the fuck.” Schaeffer glared at the gap where it had been. “Well how do we get back now?” 

“It’s your day off, what does it matter?” Mcnamara waved a hand dismissively. 

She made a wide gesture to the three interlopers behind her. Paul gave a tense wave to the General. 

“Yeah. That’s our General,” Emma confirmed for Paul, who had lost track when people started moving too quickly. 

“You want me to spend my day off in another reality!? I wanted to go to Hatchetfield!” She had the whole day planned out. This was awful. 

“Well then let’s go to Hatchetfield!” He put his hands on his hips, his sleeves rolled up. 

“How do we get there?” She lowered her voice to a whisper just incase they would have to kill someone to get out of here. 

“I’m the General,” he whispered back to make light of her pointless nerves. “No one can tell the difference. I’ll just get a chopper.”

“You think there’s an alternate reality Paul?” Emma inquired curiously, licking her lips. 

“Top ten things you’d do with your clone?” Melissa suggested. 

“No one is taking this seriously,” Schaeffer tried to gather some attention, but no one would give it to her. 

“Fist fight,” Emma began. “Perhaps Emma two and I have the same bad customers. If she won’t fight me we’ll double team someone.” The three of them began to follow after the General. 

Schaeffer flexed her hands, frustrated. At least she was resigned. 

“If there’s an alternate reality Melissa I would pet her cat. Simple,” Melissa nodded wisely. 

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Mcnamara kept the trio between himself and Schaeffer to avoid suspicion. “There’s no alternate reality Schaeffer. Not in PEIP at least. And we don’t have a Xander.”

“What, alternate reality me didn’t pass the test or something?” She huffed. What a loser. 

“Hey. Butterfly effect.” 

———————————————————

“Check this out,” Macnamara handed Xander the file on Mcnamara’s desk. 

“Musical apocalypse,” Xander whistled. “Bet that was a bit more fun than the lord of despair.” 

“Well I bet shopper mania was a tad easier to contain,” he flipped through the pages himself before slotting them back down into the file. 

“Cuter, too,” Xander joked. “Bet alternate reality you didn’t phase into the black and white either.” 

Macnamara slid a sheet over to Xander so he could see. “I did have a musical number though.” He couldn’t imagine it, losing, that was, he could very much picture the musical number. 

“So your idea of an afternoon off was rifling through paperwork?” Xander sat up on McNamara’s desk, he was quite taken with the story anyways. “This must’ve been a bastard to fix.” 

“I thought we could check in on Hatchetfield,” he suggested, figuring alternate reality him was doing much the same. “There’s someone I want to visit.”

———————————————————

“Ah, I’m gonna vomit,” Emma had gotten out of the helicopter the second she could, dragging Paul with him to cling onto him once her feet were on stable ground. “Jesus, fuck.” 

“Oooh,” Schaeffer clicked her tongue. “Sorry, Perkins. Guess that wasn’t ideal.”

Emma made a weak noise, pressing her hot forehead to the cool of Paul’s skin. His skin had been so cold since the accident. It was great for cuddling on summer nights, not so much in the dead of winter. 

“This is weird,” Paul shook his hands. “Usually the corner store is on the other side of the street,” he pointed, but Emma was too nauseous to acknowledge it. 

“Just, don’t go looking messing around with yourselves, okay?” Schaeffer tried to establish before anyone could run off. 

“Aw, but Mcnamara could do it!” Melissa pouted. 

“McNamara works for PEIP. It was a lot easier to explain.” The Colonel was starting on some rules, clearly not trusting the stability of the system. Emma wasn’t paying attention. 

Almost out of reflex the pain in her leg was getting out of hand. Nerve pain shooting up her thigh and down to her joints. Bound to ruin her day since she wasn’t allowed to drive her car in this world. 

“Where are you gonna go, hun?” Paul ran his thumb over her temple until she lifted her head from his chest. 

“Guess I’m not allowed to first fight my alter ego, huh?” She tried to laugh, but if she pushed her stomach too hard she would vomit all over Paul. “I’m gonna go see if maybe, in this world, the truck didn’t-...”

“Oh. Well hey, good luck?” He held her close, his arms slipping down so his hands could rub the small of her back. “I’ll leave that to you?”

She nodded. Glad he would let her face it on her own. 

She was kidding herself if she thought maybe her sister was still around in this world. But she didn’t process that until Tom opened the door. She had felt so close for a second, and bit back a sob that had come from nowhere. 

“Emma? What are you doing here?” He looked around like he was expecting more. “Did we have something planned? What’d I forget?” 

Her palms tingled. She hadn’t seen Tom in months. Maybe even years. But he wasn’t questioning it at all. She balled them up into her pants pockets. “Hi, Tom,” she began, deciding to take her hands back out to swing them by her sides instead. “Do you have a second?” 

The house looked the same on the inside at least. She had only been to Jane’s home once though after the funeral, and she wouldn’t notice if something was slightly out of place. One thing stuck out though. Something that made her grind her teeth, her hands becoming fists and the lady on the couch becoming a target. 

“Becky Barnes?” 

She was caught by surprise, and turned around with a half smile like she almost recognised her but couldn’t quite. 

“What’s she doing here?” 

“Uh, Becky, this is Jane’s little sister,” Tom began, but there was no need for an introduction. 

A replacement? Was this the right house? Was this Tom the same from her world? No, Jane doesn’t just ‘get replaced.’ What had she missed? 

“I know Emma!” She grinned, waving her hand to invite her to the couch. “She was in freshman year in our senior year!” 

She was trying to pull together a timeline in her head. In her world, Jane had no replacement. Tom had no new girl. But Becky Barnes of all people? She did not sit besides her on the couch. 

“I thought you were at work today or something?” Tom scratched his neck. “At the coffee shop?”

She scratched her neck, not taking her eyes off the nurse for a second. “Yeah. Not today.” The Emma of this universe was clearly doing something right if Tom even knew what line of work she was in. She hadn’t spoken to Tom since the funeral. She had only met Tim once. 

“Where’s uh, Pete?” God, who the hell was Pete? Not that she’d admit it to Paul’s face, but getting to hang out with what was left of her family wasn’t worth not getting to meet Paul. “Did you want something? Is this about-...” he trailed off, rubbing his neck. Becky went quiet. “Jane?” 

She felt her throat getting scratchy, tight. It had been a while since someone besides herself had mentioned her big sister. She held her fingers to her neck, feeling as she tried to pull air into her lungs. “I just wanted to say something,” she cleared her throat so she wouldn’t break down in front of her brother in law and the replacement girl. “Just quickly.” 

They were staring at her. 

A message not for this Tom, but a message she had always wanted to give to her own Tom. She would just never be able to say it to his face. “Thank you for loving my sister.”   
———————————————————

“They got a bit fixed up after this ‘apotheosis’ thing huh?” An apartment would always be better than a trailer. Even if it wasn’t too much bigger. 

“Yeah. They must be holding out a bit better. I’m glad.” Xander leant against the wall. “This is who you wanted to see?” 

“Affirmative.” He had been through all the PEIP files. Some of the same soldiers, not all of them. Not her. 

He ran his fingers against the creases forming in his forehead. She had been infected first, gotten it at work. Tricked the boy, cornered the kid. Fucking brutal. If it had been his own office he would’ve burnt that report just for the image it put in his brain. Things didn’t always go right. Heroes didn’t always win. 

He knocked on the door, keeping his breathing steady even when it hitched. 

“Lex Foster?” It was her. Looking a little tired, there were dark circles under her eyes and she hadn’t opened the door the whole way. 

“Oh, General Mcnamara.” At least she had recognised him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, we’re just doing a run of the mill check in, do you have a second?” 

She stepped away from the door, her hands brushing down by her side to let them both in. 

“Everything’s fine,” she answered, one hand around her shoulder like she prepping for an injection. “Why?” 

“No cause for concern,” he assured her. “Just you and your sister here?”

She didn’t answer, watching him cautiously. “What’s this about?” 

“You don’t have to panic, Lex,” Xander cut in, seeing this wasn’t really going anywhere. “We’ve been interviewing everyone,” he covered up. “Just to see how everyone is holding up after the apotheosis.” 

Lex shivered ever so slightly at that word, calling out for Hannah afterwards. 

The girl emerged from her room silently and hesitantly, looking at the General and Xander. She blinked, running up behind her sister. 

“They’re just here to ask some questions, Han, all good?” She got down on one knee to calm her younger sister. 

Hannah shook her head, eyes on the floor. “Doubles,” she explained. 

So she had powers in this universe too. 

“Sorry. She’s been really jumpy since the whole incident,” she explained, trying to grab Hannah’s hand. 

Hannah shook her head and tucked her hands under her arms so Lex couldn’t grab them.

“It’s just the General, banana, you don’t gotta panic.”

She shook her head and pushed Lex’s hand off her shoulder, grimacing at the floor. 

“Ah. Okay. I don’t suppose you guys have something fancy that fixes that. Usually she isn’t like this but she’s been really bad after the infection.”

“That’s expected, Lex. I hear a lot of people have gone mute.”

“No, she’s never been chatty, but she’s just being-“ she held back a grunt, finally deciding to let Hannah return to her room if it made her feel better. “I mean, I’ve tried to explain it, I’ve apologised so many times! How do you fix that?” 

“Uh,” Xander lost his calm composure for a second. The child hadn’t been mad at Lex. She was clearly onto him and the General. “It’s only been a couple months. Maybe give it a little more time.” 

“Yes. That’s a good idea,” Macnamara almost stammered. “We won’t hold you up much. Have you been coping alright?” 

“I mean, new house slaps I guess, my boyfriend has kinda been going through it,” her voice became growly. “I’m just pissed. Now it’s so hard to trust me because of this infection bullshit.” She crossed her arms, pacing a few steps back from the men. She seemed so crestfallen at the house. It wasn’t a trailer but it was no California. They never quite made it. Maybe they didn’t want to go anymore. Its hard to make such a commitment with such broken trust. 

“Ethan Green?” Macnamara inquired. He was the boy Lex spoke about a lot. She took his death pretty poorly obviously. Hannah had said he died protecting her.

“Yeah.” 

“People work through things at different paces,” he took a few steps towards her and she backed away again. Maybe listening to her sister’s utterance and trusting it. “Ethan and Hannah will come around, and they’re very lucky to have you wait for them,” he assured you, one hand able to reach far enough to pat her comfortingly on the back. 

She seemed to stop panicking at least, staying still instead of wandering. “You think?” 

“Of course.” The Lex from his world loved Ethan and Hannah so much. She was loyal to a t. She was so good for taking it all on her own shoulders. “You’re brave, kid. And you’re destined for a whole lot more.”   
———————————————————

“Jeez, back for seconds? You’re killing me Paul,” Emma gave him a funny look when he entered. 

“Uh, dropped my cup.” So they knew each other in this dimension, but were they dating? “Could I have another?” 

“Yeah. Just hold on a sec,” she brushed her apron down, looking for her pitcher and her marker. “I won’t be home for dinner tonight.” Oh thank god. They were. “I’m going to Hidgens’. I need to drop some groceries off for him.” 

“That’s okay, Emma.” 

“Just make yourself something for dinner.” Her tone was just leaning on bitter, but he sort of liked it. Like they had been together so long that they were almost annoying each other. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay,” she repeated. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay,” Emma giggled like this was a game they played. “Okay.” She handed him a cup across the counter. 

There was something off about this Beanies. The pastries were usually on the other side of the cash register, and the donuts had swapped places with the cookies. 

“Yikes!” Emma exclaimed as he took the cup. “Your hands are cold.” 

“Oh,” Paul drew them back in self consciously. “Sorry. It’s cold outside,” he tried to explain.

“Whatever Paul. Just don’t touch me with them,” she joked. He hoped that was a joke at least. “And don’t drop it this time.” 

“Got it. Okay.” He nodded, taking a sip. At least the coffee tasted the same. “Love you?” He ended it like a question. Maybe in this world they weren’t dating. Maybe they were just roommates.

She gave him a questioning look that slipped into an awkward or uncomfortable smile. “Why do you look so funny? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” 

He shook his head, drinking his coffee so he wouldn’t have to talk. “I’m fine, Emma. See you later?” He wanted to get back to his own Emma. At least he knew everything about her. He felt like if he didn’t watch himself he’d accidentally ruin their whole relationship. 

“Aw. Hey, don’t look so offended,” she cocked her head. “Why’re you so down all of a sudden? You were doing fine half an hour ago.” Emma-two was intimidating. 

“It’s nothing,” he shoved his free hand into his pocket, rocking back and forth on his toes. “I’ve gotta get back to work now.”

“Oh, okay,” she stretched up and grabbed his tie, yanking him in to kiss his lips. “Hah, you’re freezing!” She laughed. “Take care, Paul. I’ll see you later tonight.”

Wow. That was wonderful. She had him going for the first half honestly. Maybe they argued like an old, married couple in this reality, (Emma did, at least. Paul didn’t think he could argue with her in any universe) but they were still happy together. 

“Hey!” Oh thank god. His Emma was just outside, loitering past the glass window so she couldn’t be seen. “Couldn’t stand being away from me huh?” She leant up for a kiss. She leant in to the cool of his lips against the bothered hot of her skin. “Is that my lip balm?” She rubbed her lips off. 

“I-we-“ he pointed at Beanies. He had to wonder how he had gotten with her in this universe now that there has been no apotheosis to make it happen. “We kisses in there. She kissed me, I mean.” Was that cheating? “I like you better.”

“Glad,” she chuckled, taking his coffee to taste it. “Nora still orders the shitty coffee beans in this world it seems,” she grinned, waiting for him to laugh, their bodies pressed together ever so slightly. 

“We’re still together in this world,” he brought up, waiting to see if she would smile. “Still dating.” It made him happy, he had never felt so high spirited. They had to be soulmates. They always had to find each other, they always would. They had to be made for each other. 

“Huh?” She squinted, the corner of her eyes crinkling. “Oh!” She slapped her hip. “Pete, Paul, same person!” She rolled her eyes as something clicked in her head. “Should’ve guessed. Tom calls me Emily sometimes.”

He tilted his head, he thought she had gone to Jane’s. Oh. The crash must’ve happened in this reality too, no wonder Emma was rambling. He pulled her into a hug. He wouldn’t prod. “Let’s get you out of here before Emma-two sees you.” 

———————————————————

Schaeffer wouldn’t complain if McNamara wanted to go find the Paul of this world to see if he was still some sort of hero. Maybe their Paul and Emma would be at CCRP too, it would be two birds with one stone if she was lucky. Not that she was ever lucky. 

McNamara knew his way to Paul’s office, apparently. Breezed right through the lobby down the hallways, flashing his ID and getting a polite salute and welcome. 

“Uh-“ she stopped at the front desk. 

Melissa smiled at her. “Hi, can I help you?” 

Schaeffer held her hands at her side. “I was just following the General. Where did he go?” 

“Oh. General Macnamara! He went down to Paul’s office,” her smile was so customer service it hurt. People in this reality just didn’t notice her. They saw the PEIP outfit, not her. “Just down this hallway and down the steps, Colonel...?”

“Schaeffer,” she answered. “Claire is fine. You don’t have to be so formal.” 

“Oh, I have a lot of respect for you guys! You’re like the military but good,” She grinned that smile of hers when she knew she wasn’t being well behaved. “We’ve never met.” 

“Ah, Melissa, right?” 

She awed, her jaw dropping? “You know who I am?” 

She had taken extra care with the citizens of Hatchetfield. She knew them all, especially Melissa. “Of course.”

“Oh, well! Thank you, colonel!” She saluted excitedly, standing up in her chair. “Let me know if you need a hand finding the General!” 

“Well thank you,” it still felt strange to not be recognised, she had put a lot of effort into this town. She walked away from the front desk with an impatience to get back to her own world. 

“Impromptu PEIP visit,” she heard the General laughing as she came to lean in the doorway. 

That wasn’t their Paul. 

“General Macnamara,” the two men shook hands. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes. Just checking in. I’m conducting some interviews. Has everything been fine since the incident?” 

“Oh,” he nodded. “I was cleared, remember? No urge for that dumb doll, I don’t like that musical jingle.” 

Schaeffer grinned. She had been through his files. He didn’t want that stupid green doll. It targeted people who needed things, apparently. People who were unhappy, who had holes to fill. “You’re doing well, is that it? Mr Matthews?” She interrupted. She couldn’t help it. 

“Uh yes,” he confirmed, not recognising her either. “The dill didn’t affect me. I don’t know why.” 

“Wiggly seemed to target adults who weren’t happy,” Mcnamara read back what he had seen in the reports in his counterparts office. 

She grinned to herself, watching the dumb smile cross over his face at the thought of Emma. 

“Oh, really General?” 

“Affirmative. It’s a good thing you were immune, son. I’d expect as much from you.”

“Huh?” 

“Oh it’s nothing. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders.” 

McNamara had always been very Paul biased, Schaeffer knew. He said he didn’t play favourites, but he had been shaking Paul’s hand for quite the while now, talking about how good he was for resisting Wiggly’s powers. 

“Oh, colonel!” Someone called.

She whipped around, grabbing Paul by the shoulder to pull him up against the wall. “Shh!” She hushed him. Schaeffer was not Paul biased. Although the fact she did nothing to stop Emma talking out loud maybe said something else about her. 

“Colonel!” Emma exclaimed.

“What’re you doing here? We were supposed to meet back at the helicopter. You aren’t supposed to meet your doubles,” she explained, lowering her voice to a hiss so Paul-two couldn’t hear.

“Uh, Colonel?” Paul-two glanced at her. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Matthews. General, meet me by the helicopter?” He seemed to need some more time to laud over his man of the hour. 

“Have either of you seen Melissa?” She questioned when she had gotten them back to the chopper. “She didn’t go with you?” 

They shook their heads. “She can’t be up to anything bad, can she?” 

“She wasn’t at CCRP so I suppose she’s followed the rules better than you two,” she chided. 

“We were just looking for you,” Paul sulked, rubbing circles on Emma’s palms. 

“We’re in no rush to get her back are we?” Emma was looking ill at the idea of riding a helicopter again. She seemed to seriously consider swapping places with her double to get out of this. 

“We had a set time. She and General McNamara should be back soon!” Paul remembered, making sure Emma was doing up her seatbelt this time. 

“And where have you two been?” Schaeffer crossed her arms as their two missing passengers finally came back. 

“Collecting her,” Mcnamara defended himself, hopping up into the pilots seat and searching for his helmet. 

“That’s false. We met halfway. He was still talking to alternate reality Paul ‘cause he thinks it’s cool he survived the teddy bear apocalypse,” Melissa huffed. “You did not collect me.” 

“What were you doing, Melissa?” Schaeffer questioned. She had never mentioned where she had gone to anyone, and now everyone was paying attention. 

“It’s embarrassing,” she evaded it, pulling her seatbelt on to stall until takeoff when they wouldn’t be able to hear her. 

“What?” Mcnamara asked. 

“Okay just don’t get mad at me,” she pouted. “I have a spare key under my doormat. I went to my place because I knew I’d be at work.”

“Wow,” Emma clicked her tongue. “You’re in another dimension and you went home and took a nap?” 

“What? It’s my day off. I’m a homebody, man. Did you know this Melissa named her cat Espeon? Like, also after the Pokémon?” 

“That’s clever, Mel,” Paul elbowed her. “I like that.” 

“Yeah, I wonder if Mew’d consider a name change. That’s so smart.” 

“Well. Good to see this technology didn’t go to waste,” Schaeffer ran her tongue over her teeth before clicking it. 

“I said you weren’t allowed to get mad!” She groaned as they were taking off.

———————————————————

“It’s my day off and somehow I still did my job, huh?” Schaeffer was tapping her foot as they made it back to the lab they had started in. 

“Oh be quiet, soldier. You love your job. Why complain about it now?” Mcnamara had been waiting eagerly to see his double again. 

“Let’s hope they haven’t claimed our reality and left us here to die,” Emma sighed, but took it back once it made Paul fret. “Did you guys know I’m still Hidgens’ favourite student even in this reality?” She changed topics instead. 

“Yes Emma. You’ve told us,” Paul patted her shoulder. 

“So when are they coming back?” Melissa interrupted, checking the time. “We aren’t supposed to open the portal are we?”

“Ah, any second now,” Mcnamara was looking at his watch, counting down the seconds. “Our timepieces are synced.”

“Oh,” Paul nodded. “Okay. Of course.” 

Exactly as McNamara’s countdown ended the rift opened up with a weird sound that was a combination of cutting and slurping. 

“Ugh,” Paul’s jaw dropped at the noise. “That’s gross.” But he almost felt warm for a second when Macnamara and Xander came through, and he would be able to return to his own world.

“Just on time, brother!” McNamara and Macnamara began their laughter and joking again, clapping each other’s backs with identical smiles. 

“Isn’t this great?” Xander pointed, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. 

“Alright. Fun’s over, General,” she grabbed his collar to separate them, careful not to lose track of which one was hers. “You have to give the closing memo for the work day tonight.”

“I know what the time is, colonel,” he pushed her hand away, embracing his doppelgänger. 

“It was lovely to meet you, even if only very briefly, Schaef,” he took one of the colonel’s hands to shake. 

“Schaeffer,” she pursed her lips shut. “My name is Schaeffer.”

“Yeah I know. It’s a nickname,” he explained. 

“Oh. Don’t do that,” she asked. “It’s only one more syllable.” 

He gave an anxiously confused smile. “Got it. Schaeffer.” 

Ah, good. He got it. “Yes. It’s been nice to meet you, Lee.” 

“Xander is fine.” 

“I’m going to call you Lee.” 

“Good to see them getting along,” Macnamara snorted, one hand still on McNamara’s shoulder blade. “But I heard all about you two today!” He turned to Paul and Emma. “The heroes, I’ve heard!” 

“Oh, hero?” Paul tugged at the collar of his button up shirt. 

“Yes, thank you very much, finally!” Emma threw her arms out. “It was my idea to destroy the meteor, finally some recognition, thank you, General Macnamara.” 

“And uh, this is...?” He turned to Melissa like he was waiting for the name to come to him. “No, don’t tell me.” 

Melissa eyed up the walls to evade eye contact. “Yeah. No. I didn’t do anything. I just didn’t die.” 

“She’s my friend,” Schaeffer cut in to explain. 

Macnamara nodded. McNamara nodded. Everyone nodded. Great. 

“Well. I suppose this is it?” Schaeffer prompted, edging towards the rift. 

Paul let out a sigh of relief, one hand around Emma. He was so happy he would be making it home to his own bed tonight.

“Ah just one moment!” Macnamara announced, earning a groan from half the room. “I’ve left some important files on your desk,” he told McNamara. “I’d have a look into them if you had a second.” 

Lex’s papers. Surely someone had to alert the other reality to the Foster sisters. And maybe if his counterpart could get away from the mothering of his colonel he could get his Lex another look at Ethan Green. A hard working kid like Lex deserved that, and her sister did too. 

“Of course I will,” he assured them. 

“So-“ Paul pointed at the rift.

“Oh another thing!” McNamara exclaimed. “I’ve left some files on your desk too!” He added. Someone had to tell the other reality about Paul Matthews. So far he had a pretty good track record for surviving apocalypses. Maybe if Macnamara had a second he could look into trying to recruit him. 

“Time to go yet?” Schaeffer ran a hand over the back of her neck. 

“Hey look at that!” Macnamara and McNamara cheered out in almost unison. It was quite scary up close. Like the reflection in the mirror had come to life. “I guess great minds think alike!”

**Author's Note:**

> ShdhUTUL ABDBJ I’m aware this sucked ass lmao omg but it was sitting in my drafts & I figured someone might enjoy it


End file.
